The Stress of Negative Emotions
Bodies can heal, thoughts can change, but emotions rooted in the damaged past or the feared future can harm us for a long time. To manage the 5 major types of negative emotion, we need to employ the power of reason and a range of emotion-healing techniques.
1.Anxiety: The word “anxiety” is derived from an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning “to choke”. The key to managing anxiety in combating stress is Acceptance. – Attack your worries with the power of reason. – Write down what you fear.
2.Anger: Anger is one of the emotions that can literally kill us. The key to managing anger is Ownership. – If you tend to blow your top easily, put a time out on your anger trigger. Use a “breathing space” formula: count to 10, say the Lord’s Prayer or recite a piece of verse. Recognize when anger wells up in you and divert it to an area called the “defusing zone”. – Let your anger go. Visualize it being dropped in a waste bin, thrown into a fast-flowing river or into outer space.
3.Resentment: The key to managing resentment is Forgiveness. – Recognize that hatred cannot hurt anyone but yourself. – Resolve to let go of your hatred by an act of forgiveness. Announce the words “I forgive you”. Send a bunch of flowers or a small gift. Stop punishing yourself for not being perfect – nobody is! – Think of people who have had real cause for resentment, perhaps due to the loss of loved ones in tragic circumstances, but who have been big enough to forgive. – Make sure your resentment is given a proper burial and move on with the rest of your life.
4.Inadequacy: The vast majority of people suffer feelings of inadequacy at some time or another. The key to managing inadequacy is a strong self-image based on a proper sense of self-value and not on external values such as money and success. – Ask those you love and who love you if you are a success in their eyes. – Don’t assume that people will think negatively of you – ask them and they might just surprise you!
5.Guilt and Shame: Guilt and shame arise when we compare ourselves with an idealized belief of how we should have behaved. – Don’t harbor secret feelings of guilt. If you feel guilty, admit it. We all make mistakes. – If you have made a mistake, don’t exaggerate it. Instead, work to put it right.
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